hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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