Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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