he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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