This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
