explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
