I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
