She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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