i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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