Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I just want to make out with him forever
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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