how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
