he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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