youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
