pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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