It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
