It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
