If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
