I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
