I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
