Me too!
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
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using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
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THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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