She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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