apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
