I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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