Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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