we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
