Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I wish you could order shots online.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
