Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
