you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Randomize
