youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
