If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Houston, we have a blender
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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