just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
