I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
