I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
