Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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