Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
