i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
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HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
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i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
you made out with another girl for some wings
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
How naked do you want me to be?
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