I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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