Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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