well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
