I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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