New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
