Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
3pm strippers are depressing
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
