Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
