I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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