never play flip cup with pint glasses
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
people are starting to question the shark bite story
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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