im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
