I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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