In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
