i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
My hand turned me down
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
