i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
