is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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