it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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