I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
