a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Non-Jews are for practice
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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