doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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