Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
