do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
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