Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
