I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
