Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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