I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
