I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
